Men and the Online Dating Game

Hello Wildflowers!

Today I am starting a new segment on Gypsy Eyes, one that I would like to think I have extensive experience on (sadly) and have wanted to talk about for quite some time now. This new segment is called Men and the City and yes it is a spinoff from non other than our all time favourite go-to show to watch when we are feeling single AF – Sex and the City.

I had watched this entire series years ago when I was in university, an old friend had suggested for me to watch it and had informed me that it would shed some light on my current situation. At that time I hated the feeling of being single again and didn’t think I would ever find someone. I was already going on dates for several months at this point and nothing was happening. It was just one failed date after another, after another, after another. I got to a point where I was so exhausted and hated everything that was going on, until I had watched this show. I felt so empowered by these women and realized that life is all about heartbreaks and failures, but we pick ourselves up and learn from them. They made me feel that it is okay to be single, even in your thirties, just go and have fun with it. At the time I was only 22, so naturally I had to laugh at the thought that I was stressing over such a minor thing in my life that I was sure would work itself out. Well four years later I am still single and loving the time I have spent on my own, but recently I have found the need to start watching this series again, a pick-me-up as you will, seeing as I am now exhausted from this whole dating scene. It was this second time around of watching Miss Carrie Bradshaw that gave me this idea for my blog. I started comparing her notes on men to how they have changed today in the dating scene. This segment will comprise of her ideas, but revised on how I feel men have changed from twenty years ago. It will also include a few ideas of my own, ideas that have only surfaced a few years ago and wasn’t a thing in Carrie Bradshaw’s time.

This is where my first Men and the City post begins.

Just last weekend I found myself having a familiar conversation that I have had with several other girlfriends as of late. We were talking about the whole dating scene in how online dating has no longer become a thing. It just doesn’t exist the same way has it had years ago when Tinder and Bumble had first surfaced, becoming the go-to apps to landing any relationship or even just a date. We were finding ourselves going on dates left, right and centre. There was a time where I had dates lined up for a week. It was that simple to get a guy to agree with you to meet up for drinks and to possibly see where it could lead to. Today is a different story however, today we are now finding it a struggle just to get a guy to talk to us through these apps. It’s as if these apps have just become a game to them and nothing more. Have we all just got fed up with the online dating world and want to go back to the old ways of finding someone? Was Tinder, Bumble and OkCupid just a fad? Or have men been catfished one too many times that their trust with women through these apps have just vanished? These are the several questions my girlfriends and I have asked one another, wondering what has caused this world of dating to fade.

Let me put it in perspective for you, four years ago when I had begun this whole new online dating extravaganza, I was landing dates twice a week. Since being home from Australia, which was ten months ago,  I’ve only managed to go on three dates. Pathetic, right? But then I began logically thinking about it in the way that I may have changed over these past four years and my reasoning for being on these apps. For instance, years ago I was strictly on Tinder in the hopes to find a new piece of arm candy, but now I’m finding myself just wanting to meet new people and nothing more. So has my way in talking to these men changed due to my reasoning? We have now reached a point where we have stopped going on these apps because we are mentally exhausted trying to talk to these men. Bumble is by far the most irritating one of them all due to us women having to make the first move, but that isn’t what is really irritating about the whole thing. I’ve always appreciated the concept behind it because it really does make us think on our feet and spit something out witty within 24 hours, but when we do, we either don’t receive a response or the conversation dies within two seconds. So now my question is this, why swipe right in the first place when you clearly had no intention on having a conversation? You must know that we clearly have every intention on wanting to talk to you if we had matched, so why ignore us suddenly when we pull the trigger? This is where our whole theory comes in with men just seeing these online dating apps as a game. We firmly believe that it has just become something for them to do while they loaf on their couch scratching their dingle berries and binge watching Hot Wheels. I’ve managed to hold onto a few conversations, but once the anticipating question is asked to meet up for drinks I’m suddenly ignored, deleted and thrown into the bin with the rest of those who too have been silently rejected. This is not to say that us women have never done this as well, because we have. I mean I’ve thrown these men in the silent rejection bin several times, but for different reasons. Reasons including inappropriate gestures made towards me or responding with one word answers that leaves me with no choice but to throw them in the bin.

I have reached a point where I just think that online dating has possibly run its course and we are just merely looking for new ways to find someone. In todays society we eventually find ourselves at a standpoint with these new fads that come into play. They go just as quickly as they came. The only social media app that is still standing on any leg at this point is Instagram, because they are constantly reinventing themselves and keeping us social media whores on our toes. Maybe we have just gotten bored with the idea of swiping all the time and are in a desperate need of a bit of fresh air. I know I am.

So come on you crafty inventors out there, I am ready to see what you will throw at me next in this forever losing dating game. I am ready for you!

Cheers,

J

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