As I sit here at my desk curled up with a mug half full of coffee all while listening to Frankie and staring out into the sunny skies of Toronto I can’t help but think what my next chapter in my occupation life will be. I woke up at seven this morning determined to go on a job searching escapade and figure out what it is that I truly want. I always think I do, but at the end I get bored of it all and move onto the next exciting (or disastrous) thing. I’m sitting here reading job postings after job postings, questioning myself if this is something I really want. Seriously, is this the job for me? Being an office coordinator and running around like a lap dog taking every beck and call. Probably not, but is it in the right direction of the industry I’d like to move towards? Possibly. My point is this – are we ever satisfied with the jobs that we are in? Sure it may pay a lot and we may work with amazing people, but seriously, is anyone truly 100% happy in their job? Reading these descriptions I realized that maybe we move on from job to job knowing that each one will just pay a little more to sustain our oh so “glamorous” lifestyle. Do we truly care more about the money than the job itself? I mean some of these job postings have me questioning my life choices. Yeah sure these jobs sound exciting and I definitely have the capability of performing at my best in all, but I don’t think I’d ever truly be happy in them. We work because we have to. In a perfect world I’m sure all of us would love to just spend our time traveling the world and eating tacos on a yacht previously owned by Queen Bey all while sailing around the Greek Islands. Yeah sure I have fantasies of that every day, but it’ll never happen unless I work for another trillion years and earn the money like a real adult does. Life sucks man. I’m currently listening to Frankie singing about Chicago and I seriously want to cry. My ideal life would be to work for a magazine corp carrying coffee down the streets of Chicago or New York in heels that are giving me blisters in the most uncomfortable places, pretending I run the joint. Again, only in a perfect world. My world. Okay so I’m being a little melodramatic, that dream is still possible, I’ve just got to work for it, but how? Cue in clueless emoji. Everyday I am feeling lost on what my next chapter is to be. I wish God would just send me a message giving me these answers, but that would be too easy. At the end of the day we are where we are for a reason. I firmly believe every step we take will lead us somewhere to where we are to be, even if it means sacrificing the little things. For me it’s giving up my weekends and slowly losing my social life with my friends. This is why I need to get out, but where? I can’t exactly pull an Australia stunt again. Did that once and look where that got me. I took that year thinking it would set my mind straight into the direction I need to be going, but I only ever felt lost after that year. More lost than I have ever been. I’m still lost and clueless on my path. I wish there was a yellow brick road outside my door, leading me to these answers. Instead I’m finding it leading me into a lions mouth, swallowing my pity self whole. This has also probably been one of the most random and spontaneous blog posts I have ever written. Seriously. I normally take weeks to write one of these things, ensuring it is perfecto! My life is just as random and pointless as this blog post right here. There is no structure to this thing. My life has no structure. There is no formal recipe to follow. It just happens. I don’t know why I even felt compelled to write this, but I did. Maybe that is my path, writing. I know I’ve said it a million times, but I’m starting to think it really is. I do enjoy doing it. For once writing doesn’t feel like such a chore. I always felt forced to write something, but maybe I need to have more moments like this. Spontaneously writing on a whim with no straight idea. I mean this post did have an idea at the beginning, but it trailed off somewhere up there with tacos and now that I am staring down into an empty cup of coffee I think this is where I’ll end this masterpiece. Until next time….