Kandashians

Okay so minus the fact that I haven’t written a post in over half a year and promised several times that I would keep up with Gypsy Eyes (which we all know was complete nonsense), I can now finally say that I am back and I am here to stay!

I have returned to writing about my spirited life because yesterday I came to an odd yet humorous realization about my sisters and I. A realization that I felt was definitely worth writing about.

Let’s just rewind back to yesterday afternoon shall we…..

It was late in the afternoon and I felt inclined to help my baby sister update her LinkedIn profile since it hasn’t been updated circa 2014 when Ben and Jen were still a thing, and Prince was still walking on this god forsaken earth. In the process of this I caught her taking selfies of herself in the poses that Kim K would normally be caught doing. At that moment I felt like Kris K when she called out Kim for taking selfies as her sister was being sent to jail. What in the Helen blazin are you doing? Then it hit me….holy Moses my family are the Kardashians, but minus the injected lips and over exaggerated assets of course.

Let me break it down for you:

Kourtney – Me
Khloe – Bear
Kim – B Shell
Kris – Mamma K
Kylie and Kendall- my two idiotic brothers because their used to everything being served to them on a silver platter and don’t understand the definition of work

To prove my theory right on who we each represent I went straight to Buzzfeed and took the What Kardashian Are You? quiz. Those quizzes are legit, seriously. I took one to see what type of mythical creature I was and my end results did not disappoint….I was a Unicorn. It totally makes sense and I could not agree more. Except for this quiz I somehow landed on Scott DisDick which is technically Kourtney seeing as they were once together and both acted like a pair of sass queens. I mean I totally understand their logic with this seeing as I am lordess myself. It totally makes sense. Nonetheless I had to go back to my search tool and find a quiz that would only result in one of the three K sisters as opposed to the entire Brandy Bunch.

With a G&T in one hand and the quiz in the other I began to answer the questions in the way that my sisters would. B Shell was easy to answer for, any situations that gave me the option to click cry for was a solid go. Which concludes me to say that she is in fact the Kim K of the sisters, the emotional and soft one who can never get enough of the selfies. Bear and I however are a mixture of the two sisters – Kourtney and Khloe. We are both Khloe in a way that we have no problem telling it like it is. We have very tough skin and will skin anyone alive who dares tries to cross us. I cross more onto the Kourtney scale due to my monotone face expressions, sassy remarks and not knowing how to function when others get way too emotional around me. I’ll literally just sit there staring at them with a blank face debating whether or not I should lighten the mood with an inappropriate joke. It usually always fails in my favour….

Lastly Mamma K and Kris….now if my mom were to find out that I was comparing her to a Kardashian she would roast my butt for dinner and serve it to the dogs. But let me just say that they both share the same traits as any good mother out there does. They will literally do anything and everything for their children, even if it means supporting their upcoming sex tape. My mom would be the one caught saying “….as a mother, I wanted to kill her but as her manager….”  She’ll deny it, but we know.

In the end my family and I are our own form of the Kardashians, but with a lot more drama, tears and sarcastic moments. Moments that are definitely worth a TV show and would probably get more views than Clinton did votes in this past election. I’m just saying.

Holla at your girl Seacrest!

Cheers,

J

A Year Full of Tears, Happiness and Hope

It is currently new years day on a gloomy Sunday morning and as I sit here curing one of many dreadful hangovers with a box of sugar cookies, a shot of coffee and a bottle of aspirin I can’t help but reminisce over this past year. The year of 2016 and a story that is full of tears, strength and hope. The story that has really shaped me for the new year ahead and one that has me feeling thankful that it is finally over.

Yesterday on the eve of the new year as I sat by the waters at Manly wharf, sharing one last drink with my adoptive family, I was asked about my year and the highlights that had come along with it. My response was simple with no thought needed – 2016 can get lost and never come back. They all continued to sit there in a state of shock, baffled at the thought of me admitting that my year was a disaster, which I fully well knew it was. Sure there were happy and blissful moments as there always is in every year we experience, but it wasn’t enough to make up for what I had to endure. This year I had shed a lot of tears, more than anyone should ever have to in a year. The tears I had left in 2016 was enough to start a tsunami here in Oz. So yes, I couldn’t be happier leaving this past year behind me and for good. Nonetheless my adoptive father continued to stare at me with disbelief and said I was forgetting the biggest highlight of my entire year. I had to sit there for a moment before asking what that exactly was. What he was about to tell me I have heard many times before and still to this day don’t fully appreciate what I had done.

This is where my story begins.

It’s December 31st, 2015 and as I stand on the freezing streets of Chicago, waiting to ring in the new year, I couldn’t help but reflect back on my year and all the disasters that came along with it. I decided that I was going to make 2016 my year and began to imagine all the great things that were yet to come. I was ecstatic to be entering a whole new year full of endless opportunities and experiences. I mean how could it not be? The year kicked off with me landing a new job at one of my dream companies and a relationship I finally found myself happy to be in. The first few weeks were pure happiness and I couldn’t help but think that I finally had it all. Needless to say 2016 began to take a turn for the worst and was refusing to let this be my year.

As January came to an end so did my hopeful relationship, with my job becoming anything but a dream. I was left feeling completely broken inside and crying every night for the next three months over everything that had just happened. I was faced with depression and anxiety, something I had carried with me for what seemed like an eternity. I was busy trying to hold myself together all while trying to console others around me who were also going through issues of their own. It wasn’t the easiest task, but I began to discover creative outlets where I could express myself and put my energy into things that I loved doing. So with that I started a blog about the single life and went to college studying the ins and outs of personal styling. It was this that kept me going, but it wasn’t enough for me to say that I was happy and the only way I knew how to change my state of mind was to make a drastic change in my life.

Come June I had quit my job, packed up my things and moved my life to the other side of the world to a place called Oz. The thought of leaving home was exhilarating, I felt that I could really make something of myself and become happy once again. Leading up to this found new adventure of mine though was anything but rainbows and butterflies. Before leaving everything behind my family and I had to say one last heartfelt goodbye of our own. After many years of endless butt scratching, bear hugs and pain in the butt barking we finally had to say goodbye to such a loving companion. He was someone who had meant the world to us, but as with anything in life we find the strength to move on and to continue to carry those profound memories with us wherever we go. I continued to carry these memories with me to Australia and even though it wasn’t the greatest start to the journey I knew I could turn it around because 2016 was going to be my year. I was determined.

Fast forward to August, two months after living in a place I had no idea about, I was still jobless, broke and shedding tears over my past mistakes. With everything that had happened I still refused to give up the optimistic dream. The dream of fashion, traveling and everything else in between. Before I knew it I had managed to land three jobs; two unpaid internships in the line of fashion and one being a waitress at a local Mexican restaurant to help make ends meet. I was smiling once again, relieved that things were finally starting to look up…or so I had hoped.

Weeks later I found myself to be completely broke with an internship that began to cost me more money than I had and being abused at a work place where I had held such high hopes for. I was left feeling miserable, helpless and depressed with the constant feeling of hitting rock bottom in all things. So with that I quit my job, left my internships and found a new job elsewhere. One that had presented itself with a new set of challenges and obstacles to face, but has allowed me to meet such incredible people along the way.

After many long and agonizing months here in Australia I continue to fight everyday for the optimistic dream. It is with this thought and courage that I am reminded time and time again that I should be proud of what I have accomplished and that what I had done most people can never bring themselves to do. What I did was brave, bold and an amazing experience that I will carry on with me for a lifetime. I may not fully understand it now or bring myself to appreciate it, but I am thankful for the support, love and courage I have received from it.

So with 2016 finally over and buried in the past I am thrilled to begin this new chapter of my life, understanding that life is a thing that can never be planned. We must learn to live each day being thankful for what we have and to never stop dreaming of what could be.

‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a peace sign

if_i_had_to_describe_my_2016_it_would_be_in_the_words_of_alanis_morissette__i_m_broke_but_i_m_happy__i_m_poor_but_i_m_kind-_i_m_short_but_i_m_healthy-_i_m_high_but_i_m_grounded__i_m_sane_but_i_m_overwCheers,

J