Christmas…Too Soon?

Hello Wildflowers!

Christmas is in the air and cold weather is upon us, but when is it time to start decorating our homes and indulging in never ending Mariah? This is the question that we ask ourselves every year, wondering if we should start following the trends that retail has begun to do. Over this past week I have had a few discussions with various people on when is it considered too early to start getting into the Christmas spirit. I remember growing up that getting into the idea of Christmas was not a thing until the first of December or until we were graced with the first snow fall of the season. The day after Halloween seemed lunatic at the time seeing as us children were still loathing over the idea of it being over. So when is it considered too early?

I think in todays society it has now become custom to span Christmas over a two month period as opposed to a month. Do we really love Christmas that much that we are finding ourselves wanting to celebrate it for longer? Ummm yes.

This year I am really psyched for Christmas and would love nothing more than to put up my decorations as of NOW, but for various reasons of course. First of all I was deprived of Christmas last year due to living the travellers life in Australia and spent it basking under the hot sun on the beautiful beaches of Manly. I’m not complaining at all because it was in fact amazing, but when you have spent your entire life spending Christmas in cold weather with a beautiful snowfall (well that has sort of shot out the window now, thanks global warming) it sort of feels weird spending it elsewhere. Last year was the first time in 25 years that I did not spend Christmas with my family. I’m not going to say it was horrible, but it definitely did not feel the same. Australians are not nearly as psyched up about Christmas as us North Americans are or even Europeans for that matter. Christmas decorations and music are very minimal over in Oz. I hated it. Christmas is just a day to them, nothing more. I mean can you blame them though, their Christmas holidays are in the dead of summer. Imagine celebrating Christmas in July… can’t because it’s hella weird and we’d refuse to do so. This year I want to make up for what I had missed out last year and soak in every minute and every second of Christmas, that is including putting up decorations early. I will say this though, I do draw the line at Christmas music and movies. THAT IS WAY TOO EARLY TO BEGIN THOSE FESTIVITIES and should not begin until the first of December. My father was already caught last week listening to the Christmas radio station and Christmas channel on TV…..he won’t admit it but he loves Christmas just as much as the rest of us.

So as I sit here mulling over the idea of Christmas and when it is considered too early to get into the spirit of it all I think that decision is each to their own. I mean if you begin to start celebrating Christmas before Halloween then you seriously need to start reconsidering your decision. As for me, Christmas will forever begin on the first of December, no matter how badly I want those decorations to go up.

Cheers to all us Christmas lovers and wishing December was here already!




This past month I made the drastic decision (literally drastic) to give up drinking for the entire month of September. I had what others would refer to as a dry month and may I just add that it was hell. I’ve had a lot of my friends ask me why I thought this was such a good idea and if I lost my marbles. I mean yes I lost my marbles, I lost them last year when I thought it was a good idea to suddenly move my life to Australia with no strategic planning, but again that turned out to be the best decision I could have ever made. So at this point I figured I was a pro at making good life choices and not drinking for an entire month would be one of those choices. Spoiler alert, it totally wasn’t, but I am here to share with you my experience and any tips I have for others who also want to give this a whirlwind go.

Before I go into my experience with all of this, let me first explain to you all why I decided to do a dry month, particularly September. My answer is simple, one that many others will not bring themselves to admit, but I have been drinking like a fiend since I landed in Australia last year and I haven’t stopped since. Their drinkers down under and will find any excuse to have a cold one. I feel like I had morphed into one of them and continued to carry this out when I landed back in the homeland this summer. Summer and drinking goes hand in hand so well, everyone knows this. It is a well known fact and us Canadians during this time of year will find any excuse to have a drink in our hand before crawling back into hibernation for the winter months. So I thought to myself, why not cleanse my body and liver for a month by not drinking, I mean how hard can it be?

Very hard.

Okay first off I would like to point out though that I did have a slip up on the first day when I took a single shot of Vodka, but may I add I was completely peer pressured into doing it. It was more of a final send off to no drinking for the month and it was vodka, so in my books it totally doesn’t count.

I think when it comes to giving anything up for the first time the first few days, if not week, will be the hardest. I went from a having a casual drink every night, whether it was having a beer at the bar with some friends or a glass of Pino after work while binge watching Friends on Netflix, to completely cutting it out cold turkey. Needless to say, I was dying. The worst part I think to get over is seeing your friends drink while you sit there with a glass of water in your hands trying to act as if the decision you had just made was totally fine when in fact you regret every minute of it. Even the smell of wine was making me go crazy, I hated it. There have been numerous times when I had wanted to cave and say SCREW IT! When I got to those points I began asking myself, am I really that obsessed with having a drink? Is this what I have become? Now I’m not saying I’m an alcoholic, I know for a fact that I am not. I know when to stop myself from having a drink from now and then, but I didn’t realize until doing this free zone drinking how much I would actually drink on a weekly basis. But I think what kept me going was the support system I had and the promise I had made myself in doing this. I wanted to prove myself wrong in that I could go alcohol free for a month without depending on a drink.

Photo by Lukas Robertson on Unsplash

After doing this I realized several key notes that I would like to point out of both the pros and cons of doing a dry month. This is what I gathered….


  1. Clean liver
  2. Feeling refreshed in the mornings as opposed to feeling like you’ve been hit by a train several times in your sleep
  3. Saving money
  4. Getting to experience how idiotic your friends really are when they drink and documenting every second of it
  5. Appreciating the food that you eat when fine dining as opposed to inhaling your plate to soak up the bottle of wine you just had


  1. In bed by 11pm on a Saturday night because your body refuses to let you stay up without the fuel of alcohol
  2. Indulging in sweets to fight the urge of drinking – too many times have I had a bowl of vanilla ice cream with Lucky Charms just to battle this urging
  3. Gaining more weight than intended due to eating a buffet of sweets – I definitely lost more weight when drinking, without a word of a lie
  4. Missing out on the last moments of patio season, especially when the weather decides to introduce us into a heat wave for the last week of September
  5. Missing out on the social drinking while you have to sit there nursing a glass of water like an idiot – YASSSSS! Which again brings me back to my first point….

If I had to pick one major disaster from all of this it would definitely be the weight gain. One of the main reasons I also decided to do this dry month was in the hopes to lose weight from all the alcohol I have been drinking, but it did the exact opposite to me. I was seeking sugar elsewhere and well my mouth managed to find its way into ice-cream, cakes, sugary cereal and red velvet cookies. Definitely no strategic planning done here, no surprise.

In the end I am proud of myself for sticking this out and accomplishing what I had set out to do, again minus the weight loss aspect. I learned from this that I don’t need a drink for every social outing that I go to and how much I love the fact of waking up in the mornings knowing a hangover is not going to kick in. I can and will say that the way I drink will be changing (for now), but here are some of my tips I can give to those who too wish to have a dry month of their own.


  1. DON’T do a dry September – opt for a month where no big social events are going on and summer isn’t still floating in the air.
  2. A week leading up to your dry month slowly ease out of the drinking, don’t indulge and pack it all in thinking it will suffice you for the month, I can tell you that it won’t.
  3. You will be seeking indulgence elsewhere – if you are like me and already crave sugar on a daily basis, opt for dark chocolate. It is a lot healthier than stuffing your face with a bowl of vanilla ice cream with freshly baked red velvet cookies mushed into it….definitely not my finest moment. This is where your strong will power will need to come in, mine clearly failed but I have more hope for you.
  4. Have a support system, it seriously helps. Every time I wanted to give up and have a social drink I would text my friends and ask if it was a good idea to drop this whole dry month nonsense and get back into drinking. They then would respond with the same question I had just asked them, which again leaves you questioning yourself why you are doing this in the first place.
  5. Plan for a big night out on the first day back into drinking to celebrate what you had just accomplished. It’ll have you looking forward to the months end and realize how dramatic you were being this entire time.

Happy Sobriety!





Okay so minus the fact that I haven’t written a post in over half a year and promised several times that I would keep up with Gypsy Eyes (which we all know was complete nonsense), I can now finally say that I am back and I am here to stay!

I have returned to writing about my spirited life because yesterday I came to an odd yet humorous realization about my sisters and I. A realization that I felt was definitely worth writing about.

Let’s just rewind back to yesterday afternoon shall we…..

It was late in the afternoon and I felt inclined to help my baby sister update her LinkedIn profile since it hasn’t been updated circa 2014 when Ben and Jen were still a thing, and Prince was still walking on this god forsaken earth. In the process of this I caught her taking selfies of herself in the poses that Kim K would normally be caught doing. At that moment I felt like Kris K when she called out Kim for taking selfies as her sister was being sent to jail. What in the Helen blazin are you doing? Then it hit me….holy Moses my family are the Kardashians, but minus the injected lips and over exaggerated assets of course.

Let me break it down for you:

Kourtney – Me
Khloe – Bear
Kim – B Shell
Kris – Mamma K
Kylie and Kendall- my two idiotic brothers because their used to everything being served to them on a silver platter and don’t understand the definition of work

To prove my theory right on who we each represent I went straight to Buzzfeed and took the What Kardashian Are You? quiz. Those quizzes are legit, seriously. I took one to see what type of mythical creature I was and my end results did not disappoint….I was a Unicorn. It totally makes sense and I could not agree more. Except for this quiz I somehow landed on Scott DisDick which is technically Kourtney seeing as they were once together and both acted like a pair of sass queens. I mean I totally understand their logic with this seeing as I am lordess myself. It totally makes sense. Nonetheless I had to go back to my search tool and find a quiz that would only result in one of the three K sisters as opposed to the entire Brandy Bunch.

With a G&T in one hand and the quiz in the other I began to answer the questions in the way that my sisters would. B Shell was easy to answer for, any situations that gave me the option to click cry for was a solid go. Which concludes me to say that she is in fact the Kim K of the sisters, the emotional and soft one who can never get enough of the selfies. Bear and I however are a mixture of the two sisters – Kourtney and Khloe. We are both Khloe in a way that we have no problem telling it like it is. We have very tough skin and will skin anyone alive who dares tries to cross us. I cross more onto the Kourtney scale due to my monotone face expressions, sassy remarks and not knowing how to function when others get way too emotional around me. I’ll literally just sit there staring at them with a blank face debating whether or not I should lighten the mood with an inappropriate joke. It usually always fails in my favour….

Lastly Mamma K and Kris….now if my mom were to find out that I was comparing her to a Kardashian she would roast my butt for dinner and serve it to the dogs. But let me just say that they both share the same traits as any good mother out there does. They will literally do anything and everything for their children, even if it means supporting their upcoming sex tape. My mom would be the one caught saying “….as a mother, I wanted to kill her but as her manager….”  She’ll deny it, but we know.

In the end my family and I are our own form of the Kardashians, but with a lot more drama, tears and sarcastic moments. Moments that are definitely worth a TV show and would probably get more views than Clinton did votes in this past election. I’m just saying.

Holla at your girl Seacrest!



A Year Full of Tears, Happiness and Hope

It is currently new years day on a gloomy Sunday morning and as I sit here curing one of many dreadful hangovers with a box of sugar cookies, a shot of coffee and a bottle of aspirin I can’t help but reminisce over this past year. The year of 2016 and a story that is full of tears, strength and hope. The story that has really shaped me for the new year ahead and one that has me feeling thankful that it is finally over.

Yesterday on the eve of the new year as I sat by the waters at Manly wharf, sharing one last drink with my adoptive family, I was asked about my year and the highlights that had come along with it. My response was simple with no thought needed – 2016 can get lost and never come back. They all continued to sit there in a state of shock, baffled at the thought of me admitting that my year was a disaster, which I fully well knew it was. Sure there were happy and blissful moments as there always is in every year we experience, but it wasn’t enough to make up for what I had to endure. This year I had shed a lot of tears, more than anyone should ever have to in a year. The tears I had left in 2016 was enough to start a tsunami here in Oz. So yes, I couldn’t be happier leaving this past year behind me and for good. Nonetheless my adoptive father continued to stare at me with disbelief and said I was forgetting the biggest highlight of my entire year. I had to sit there for a moment before asking what that exactly was. What he was about to tell me I have heard many times before and still to this day don’t fully appreciate what I had done.

This is where my story begins.

It’s December 31st, 2015 and as I stand on the freezing streets of Chicago, waiting to ring in the new year, I couldn’t help but reflect back on my year and all the disasters that came along with it. I decided that I was going to make 2016 my year and began to imagine all the great things that were yet to come. I was ecstatic to be entering a whole new year full of endless opportunities and experiences. I mean how could it not be? The year kicked off with me landing a new job at one of my dream companies and a relationship I finally found myself happy to be in. The first few weeks were pure happiness and I couldn’t help but think that I finally had it all. Needless to say 2016 began to take a turn for the worst and was refusing to let this be my year.

As January came to an end so did my hopeful relationship, with my job becoming anything but a dream. I was left feeling completely broken inside and crying every night for the next three months over everything that had just happened. I was faced with depression and anxiety, something I had carried with me for what seemed like an eternity. I was busy trying to hold myself together all while trying to console others around me who were also going through issues of their own. It wasn’t the easiest task, but I began to discover creative outlets where I could express myself and put my energy into things that I loved doing. So with that I started a blog about the single life and went to college studying the ins and outs of personal styling. It was this that kept me going, but it wasn’t enough for me to say that I was happy and the only way I knew how to change my state of mind was to make a drastic change in my life.

Come June I had quit my job, packed up my things and moved my life to the other side of the world to a place called Oz. The thought of leaving home was exhilarating, I felt that I could really make something of myself and become happy once again. Leading up to this found new adventure of mine though was anything but rainbows and butterflies. Before leaving everything behind my family and I had to say one last heartfelt goodbye of our own. After many years of endless butt scratching, bear hugs and pain in the butt barking we finally had to say goodbye to such a loving companion. He was someone who had meant the world to us, but as with anything in life we find the strength to move on and to continue to carry those profound memories with us wherever we go. I continued to carry these memories with me to Australia and even though it wasn’t the greatest start to the journey I knew I could turn it around because 2016 was going to be my year. I was determined.

Fast forward to August, two months after living in a place I had no idea about, I was still jobless, broke and shedding tears over my past mistakes. With everything that had happened I still refused to give up the optimistic dream. The dream of fashion, traveling and everything else in between. Before I knew it I had managed to land three jobs; two unpaid internships in the line of fashion and one being a waitress at a local Mexican restaurant to help make ends meet. I was smiling once again, relieved that things were finally starting to look up…or so I had hoped.

Weeks later I found myself to be completely broke with an internship that began to cost me more money than I had and being abused at a work place where I had held such high hopes for. I was left feeling miserable, helpless and depressed with the constant feeling of hitting rock bottom in all things. So with that I quit my job, left my internships and found a new job elsewhere. One that had presented itself with a new set of challenges and obstacles to face, but has allowed me to meet such incredible people along the way.

After many long and agonizing months here in Australia I continue to fight everyday for the optimistic dream. It is with this thought and courage that I am reminded time and time again that I should be proud of what I have accomplished and that what I had done most people can never bring themselves to do. What I did was brave, bold and an amazing experience that I will carry on with me for a lifetime. I may not fully understand it now or bring myself to appreciate it, but I am thankful for the support, love and courage I have received from it.

So with 2016 finally over and buried in the past I am thrilled to begin this new chapter of my life, understanding that life is a thing that can never be planned. We must learn to live each day being thankful for what we have and to never stop dreaming of what could be.

‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a peace sign



Runways & Donuts


Hope all have had a fun, relaxing and joyful weekend!

There are not enough words to describe how grateful I am to be living in such a lively and down to earth place, but if there is one thing I love about living in Sydney, it is that there is always something going on. Every second of everyday, there is always something to keep your mind joyful and full of adventures. I can barely keep up with it all! I genuinely love this city and it is such a relief for me to finally say those words after having of lived here for two months. I don’t think I could ever leave such a hopeful place that has given me the courage to keep fighting for my optimistic dreams.

Now before I ramble too much about my sentimental life here in Oz, this post is really about my weekend adventure at the SYDNEY RUNWAY POP-UP EVENT!


To summarize this rad event, MYER every year holds this two day pop-up event on their main shopping strip here in SYDNEY. They welcome all to join them for their runway shows, free hairstyling and meeting of editors from COSMO, ELLE & WOMEN’S WEEKLY. Needless to say I ate all of this up, I was loving every second of it!

When I had first arrived I was given a “passport” aka my guide to the ultimate fashion & beauty experience. With this I was to engage with their exclusive sponsor pop-ups throughout and collect stamps from each one. Once three stamps were collected you receive a FREE GOODIE BAG! I mean how could you not participate?

These stamps included sipping a cup of DILMAN green tea, saying a friendly hello to some personal shopping stylists and pretending to be on the cover of ELLE! How rad is that?

2016-08-28 11.10.20
MAGS, VOUCHERS, SAMPLES, WATER (duh), CHOCOLATE (which I clearly ate…)

During all of this fashion shows and demos were being put on in the main strip. I had the chance to sit in on the DYSON SUPERSONIC blow dryer demo, which was to my amazement highly entertaining, but…


I couldn’t sit there for the entire thing. Not going to lie, I couldn’t stop thinking about eating a DONUT….what can I say the heart wants what the heart wants.



What crazy adventure did you get up to this weekend?



So last week I only managed to get through talking about one of my inspirational reads from the month of February. I had learned a lot more than I had realized as I began writing this post and thought it were best to split this into two. I know you readers, you’re only interested in reading a blog if it’s less than a page. Yes I am also aware of the fact that my posts can seem like a Game of Thrones novel at times, never ending and jumping from one point to the next. Did I not already mention to you that I love writing?

Part Two: Wildflower

I realized right there and then that in life you have to make your dreams come true. Even if there are just the ones you have to figure out. I went from terrified to optimistic.

Where do I even begin with this book, the book that has left me questioning my life choices, my dreams…me.

It was this book, Drew Barrymore to be more exact, that has opened me up to an entirely different perspective on life. A simple thing that we experience everyday, but always manage to take for granted.


We’re dreamers.

Dreamers who experience the same routine everyday. Day in and day out. We wake up, shower, stress what to wear, eat, go to work, stress about our worthless job, eat, work some more, home, pass out, eat some more, binge on Netflix, pass out again. It’s a never ending cycle until the weekend comes then God only knows what messed up shit happens then. Thinking about this makes my head hurt and want to hurl. I hate living the life that I do. I wish I was paid to write. Venturing and discovering new places everyday to write and to find my zen. This is what I want, but I’m waking up to the idea that it is not reality. I get it, I’m shit when it comes to writing and who in their right mind would pay me for this? I’m currently sitting in a French style cafe writing this post and I’m smiling at thought that I could be in Paris, living the life I want. Writing, designing, smiling….imagine getting paid just to smile?


As I was saying, I adore this majestic women. She was someone who had to become an adult at the age of fourteen and still managed to take life by the horns. She is someone I’d describe as free spirited and didn’t want to live the life of someone who followed the same routine. I love that. I want that. I want it all.

I didn’t realize I wanted this until a couple weeks ago when I got in trouble at work for not spending my time researching more about the print industry. Apparently I absorbed too much of time reading up on things that didn’t relate to it, I wasn’t passionate enough about it. And you know what? Their 100% right. I HATE PRINT! There I said it. I hate it! Want to know what I spend my time reading up on and researching? Fashion, lifestyles, writing, beauty, books, travels…I’M A DREAMER! I want to be optimistic and make my dreams come true because I don’t want to live the same boring routine everyday. It’s not me. It has never been me. I should be in a job that I’m passionate about everyday. I hate working with numbers! To be honest, I’m a complete moron when it comes to performing my job. It’s just not me. I’m like a square trying to be shoved into a circle peg, we just don’t work together.


John Mayer just came on over the radio singing Your Body is a Wonderland, sorry I just needed to stop writing for a few seconds to appreciate this song. I’m now changing the lyrics to My Mind is a Wonderland. Don’t you love how weird and random I can be sometimes?

Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah LIVE YOUR DREAMS PEOPLE! We only get one chance at living the life we want and I’m not going to let others tell me that I can’t live the one that I want. Failures are what make us stronger, opening doors to new possibilities and making us realize what it is that we truly want in life. My father taught me that. And so did Drew. Clearly.

If I had one regret in life, it would be to not have any. We learn, we adapt, we change. It’s never too late to do what you want. I’m twenty-four friggin years old, I shouldn’t be stressing that I’m too old to change my path. My dad laughs at this and tells me I need to wake up and realize that I have my whole life ahead of me to make my dreams come true. He also thinks I spend too much of my time stressing over men when I should be focusing on myself and living my life. He’s right. Screw men. Their not going to make my dreams come true. Their just a side object. My father is one who can’t understand why people get married at such a young age and begin having their own Brady Bunch clan by the age of twenty-five. I don’t understand it either. I mean good for you, I’m not judging, I just don’t understand it. My mother on the other hand adores it and keeps hinting at us that she’s not a grandmother yet. Your lucky if I even pop out one.


John Mayer again….bye.

What I Learned from Drew:

  1. …if you stay emotionally balanced and responsible in life you are able to have the real joy. The earned joy.
  3. When you feel lost, write.
  4. And even though it was only laundry, it taught me how to tackle everything moving forward. You fall in love and try to conquer by way of measuring it!
  5. That is one church I am staying loyal to. The Church of Laughing.
  6. “There should be no ‘I’ in what you are saying or thinking or feeling. You have to separate yourself from yourself. You have to realize that ‘you’ are nothing, and ‘we’ are all everything.”
  7. …we are anything but tethered. We are capable of going anywhere we want anytime we need
  8. Everything is endless and full of possibilities
  9. Learn to be alone. The things you can do can be really fun.
  10. It is being alone that will actually set you up the best for being with someone else.

Here is to us dreamers and being optimistic to new possibilities!

Yes to Beautiful

In February I had given myself the task to read inspirational books for the month. Ones that would possibly make me understand things a little clearer and to have an open mind towards things in life. As of late, I have been feeling empty. Unmotivated more than anything. I felt as if my life had come to a complete halt and I was lost beyond measure. Ringing in this year I told myself that this was going to be my year. This was where everything I had worked so hard for was finally going to pay off. It was going to be a joyous one, I felt it, because everything leading up to it was slowly coming together. Until a few weeks in when everything that I had worked so hard for actually started crumbling before me. To say a disaster would be an understatement, but it was. Perfect happiness, the one that leaves you smiling in your sleep, really can be gone in a matter of seconds. I’ve learned that now, but like so many times before, I had to keep reminding myself that this was only a small bump to what could possibly lie ahead. It may take a few shitty years, but we’ll learn to find our way eventually and once we do, we’ll realize that our previous experience of what seemed to be perfect, was in fact not.

My inspirational reads for the month were:

  1. Year of Yes – Shonda Rhimes
  2. Wildflower – Drew Barrymore

The love I have for these two inspirational women simply cannot be expressed through words. They shared their stories, stories that all single, independent, and flawless women can relate to. When I thought I had finally hit a wall, it were these women who made me think differently. They taught me to love myself and that sometimes it takes a lot of work, not to mention courage, to be in a place of content.

These are their stories.

Part One: Year of Yes

There is one rule.
The rule is: there are no rules.
Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be. Be your own narrator.
And go for a happy ending.

After reading the Year of Yes, it was this rule, her rule, that made me realize of the simple things we take for granted in our daily lives. The things we overlook or don’t think enough about. It was this book that has taught me to say yes to my body, my mind, my accomplishments, my failures….my life. She has helped me define what it is to be my own person and to always love myself regardless of what others say or think. It only matters what you do.

Growing up though I was one that never had an issue trying to be my own person. I loved being unique and standing outside of the ordinary. To others I was always known as the quirky, humorous, fashion risk taker individual. Essentially I was the family weirdo who didn’t give a shit, but it were these characteristics that I found had defined me more as a person than anything else. It was trying to love myself, physically, that was the issue. I thought defining myself as an individual would help to understand this, but it never did. Regardless of what others would say about my physical characteristics, I still saw them as flaws and more. My non-existent chest, my nose, my spider veins, my hips (birthing as some would point out), my moles, my chin…… everything to me was a flaw. I saw them as such because as a child they were seen as flaws to others. I was bullied a lot growing up over the way I looked and it was always for the same thing.

You have weird teeth
What’s that thing growing on the side of your face? It’s gross.
You have a man voice.
Your sister is really pretty you know that? She’s beautiful!

Okay so that last one wasn’t so much as a  jab towards me, but I always saw it as one because that sort of compliment was never given to me. I heard it more often than not and I hated it. I saw myself as someone who didn’t exist in the world and was seen to others as a robot. I wish I could say that it had bothered me more than anything, but it didn’t. It was the what’s that thing growing on the side of your face trait that did. For years as a child growing up I always begged my parents to have me get it removed. My mom’s answer was always the same to me, no. When I would always ask why, she would proceed to tell me that it was this little characteristic that made me stand out from the rest. She knew it always bothered me, but said one day I’ll learn to love it. I never wanted to believe her, pointing out that it was a mole not a friggen beauty mark. She was right though. She taught me not to define what it was, but what I wanted it to be.

If you want it to be a beauty mark, tell others that it’s a beauty mark than. Who cares.

Now to this day if anyone finds the need to ask me what it is I have “growing” on the side of my face, I’ll proceed to tell them it’s a beauty mark. I know that they know what it is, but people can just be mean sometimes and want to actually hear you say the word “mole”. Well bite me. They’ll never correct me though. They’ll just proceed to give me the look that reads “if you say so…”. Kids on the other hand will inform me of this, stating that what I have is in fact not a beauty mark, but a disease. They’ll proceed to tell me that their mommies have taught them that beauty marks are what makes someone beautiful. I apparently did not fit under that category.


No I have never said that to a child. Our conversation usually ended with them asking if it’s okay to touch it as their fingers slowly stretched out towards it like E.T. You can’t blame them, I never did. Their kids. Who cares.

In any case, after many years of defining, I realized that these flaws I have actually define who I am.  I am ordinary. I am beautiful. I am me. It wasn’t until recently, when I felt that my life had come to a complete halt, that I was falling down the hole of not loving myself again. Reading the Year of Yes changed that.

Shonda in her book made a point, a realization for me, how some of us find it hard to accept compliments from others. It is always us who are caught lowering our head and uttering no no no when one is given. Refusing to acknowledge such a thing and shuffling away before more damage can be done. That right there cannot describe me enough. That is 100% me. Always.

I can never, for as long as I can remember, accept a compliment to save my life. It has always left me thinking the other person was being way too modest, not understanding why they’d think like that.

“You have such gorgeous eyes” – I have a massive nose though!

“I’d kill to have your body” – I have a buddha belly! Want to see!?” *proceeds to fold over*

“You’re beautiful” – No I’m not, you should see my sisters. I’m a troll compared to them!

I blame the bullies as a child for making me have such thoughts. It has always been so hard for me to accept a compliment and it’s horrible! I never really gave it much thought, until reading this book, that no one is obligated to compliment you. They do it out of kindness. They do it because they want to. Dismissing one’s compliment is an insult. You’re simply telling them that they’re wrong. You are questioning their judgement and taste.

To those I have insulted, I apologize. I have learned to shut up and to simply just say thank-you. Thank you, smile, shut up. That is all.

Shonda didn’t only teach me this, oh no. God no. Do you know the women? She’s a rockstar. She knows how to make a women feel more beautiful in their skin, but just so I don’t continue to bore you with further explanations of each lesson learned, I had condensed it in a list for you.

  1. DITCH THE DREAM. BE A DOER, NOT A DREAMER: Just keep moving forward. It doesn’t have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life. Perfect is boring, and dreams are not real. Just…DO.
  2. No food is off-limits. Eat anything, as long as you eat in portions. Only eat what you crave.
  3. Be badassery: 1. (noun) accepting one’s own accomplishments; 2. loving oneself; 3. not giving a crap about what others think.
  4. Stand like Wonder Women. Feel like Wonder Women. Be Wonder Women.
  5. People like being around whole, healthy, happy people.
  6. Your friends are the real deal. Thier your tribe. They do not tell you to be braver, faster, stronger. They tell you that you are.
  7. Say YES to dancing it out. Always.
  8. Be Happy.
  9. Be Worth It.
  10. Love Yourself

Here is to many yes’s & to feeling beautiful!